(12 August 2013)
I was alone at the time, when I first saw you
on that application. I saw blurry images of yours, but I knew there’s only one
thing on my mind that day… I want to see you just to get rid off that
loneliness I felt inside of me or on the other words, JUST FOR FUN !!!
So I’ve decided to see you on that particular
day (12 August). You know when I was young, people used to come and go in my
life, I tried to stayed as long as I could, just to be with them, but haaaaaa
its happened eventually. Sometimes good things are always end up so soon
infront of our very eyes. Its hurt, but I have to accept it and move on. Saying
goodbye aint that easy. Words are easy to pronouns, express or to say, but what
meaning its brings along is the hardest part of saying that particular words
that we wish we could never say to someone we love so much, GOODBYE!!!
Love. I really don’t know what love is. Its
like some kind of powerful forces that could destroy and create something at
the same time. I fell so many times, it’s the moments that so real felt so
alive, felt so happy…but when its over… i felt like I was the only person on
the planet, so broken inside, so alone, my world just shattered into pieces…
its so hurt that I could felt my every beats of my heart, like it was about to
explode or something. I cried so hard, in order to lessen the pain but nothing
seems to happened, it wont stop… THE PAIN!!!
People used says “People learned from
experience”, “Experience is the best Teacher”, “Experience made people more
clever to make a choice” and so on. When it comes to LOVE, experience seems
useless, we did learned but still, we can not avoid or prevent it from
happening. Once it happened, nothing could ever stop it. Love is like a virus
that causes human stupidity, ignoring all that ever happened before.
On 12 August, I was so eager to see you, seems
you’re my type. So around 10pm I saw you for the very first time and
immediately you have captured all my attentions, all my not-so-good intentions
just went off. At the same time I fell for you. Every day was like a day out of
someone else's life. Nothing had ever happened to me, and now everything was
happening to me -- and by everything, I really meant you. An hour was both
faster and slower. I felt like I had sucked the air out of a giant balloon,
like my brain wasn't getting enough oxygen. Clouds were more interesting, the
lunchroom less disgusting, music sounded better, the same old jokes were
funnier, and I cant stop smiling at you. I found myself smiling for no reason,
keeping my “earphones” in and replaying our conversations in my head, just so I
could listen to them again. I had seen this kind of thing before. I had just
never felt it like the way you did to me. FN for all the sudden, u means
everything to me…and you told me that you’ve got someone already. A bit sad,
but its ok, coz he knows you more than I did..so I sacrificed my feeling toward
you, but I cant deny, that the feeling I felt that day never died out…it keep
on growing.
"Sacrifice. It's not what I would call a
modern word. People hear the word sacrifice, and they become afraid that
something will be taken away from them or that they will have to give up
something they couldn't live without. Sacrifice, to them, means loss in a world
telling us we could have it all. But I believe true sacrifice is a victory.
That's because it requires free will to give up something for someone you love,
or something or someone you love more than yourself. I won't lie to you. It's a
gamble. Sacrifice wont take away pain and loss, but it wins the battle against
bitterness, the bitterness that dims the light on all of the true value in our
lives."
I’ve been thinking, I’ve been wondering all
this time, whether there’s any meaning to a FAILED LOVE,
Is something that will disappear as the same as
something that never existed…NO!!! now I know, there is a meaning, there was a
meaning……… Im so glad that I fell in love with you F……i really do!!!
You
saw me how I wanted to be seen. That how love feels like.
To
someone I would say I love the most, but have to sacrifice my feeling for the sake
of their happiness.
