I AM GLAD

 (12 August 2013)

I was alone at the time, when I first saw you on that application. I saw blurry images of yours, but I knew there’s only one thing on my mind that day… I want to see you just to get rid off that loneliness I felt inside of me or on the other words, JUST FOR FUN !!!

So I’ve decided to see you on that particular day (12 August). You know when I was young, people used to come and go in my life, I tried to stayed as long as I could, just to be with them, but haaaaaa its happened eventually. Sometimes good things are always end up so soon infront of our very eyes. Its hurt, but I have to accept it and move on. Saying goodbye aint that easy. Words are easy to pronouns, express or to say, but what meaning its brings along is the hardest part of saying that particular words that we wish we could never say to someone we love so much, GOODBYE!!!

Love. I really don’t know what love is. Its like some kind of powerful forces that could destroy and create something at the same time. I fell so many times, it’s the moments that so real felt so alive, felt so happy…but when its over… i felt like I was the only person on the planet, so broken inside, so alone, my world just shattered into pieces… its so hurt that I could felt my every beats of my heart, like it was about to explode or something. I cried so hard, in order to lessen the pain but nothing seems to happened, it wont stop… THE PAIN!!!

People used says “People learned from experience”, “Experience is the best Teacher”, “Experience made people more clever to make a choice” and so on. When it comes to LOVE, experience seems useless, we did learned but still, we can not avoid or prevent it from happening. Once it happened, nothing could ever stop it. Love is like a virus that causes human stupidity, ignoring all that ever happened before.

On 12 August, I was so eager to see you, seems you’re my type. So around 10pm I saw you for the very first time and immediately you have captured all my attentions, all my not-so-good intentions just went off. At the same time I fell for you. Every day was like a day out of someone else's life. Nothing had ever happened to me, and now everything was happening to me -- and by everything, I really meant you. An hour was both faster and slower. I felt like I had sucked the air out of a giant balloon, like my brain wasn't getting enough oxygen. Clouds were more interesting, the lunchroom less disgusting, music sounded better, the same old jokes were funnier, and I cant stop smiling at you. I found myself smiling for no reason, keeping my “earphones” in and replaying our conversations in my head, just so I could listen to them again. I had seen this kind of thing before. I had just never felt it like the way you did to me. FN for all the sudden, u means everything to me…and you told me that you’ve got someone already. A bit sad, but its ok, coz he knows you more than I did..so I sacrificed my feeling toward you, but I cant deny, that the feeling I felt that day never died out…it keep on growing.

"Sacrifice. It's not what I would call a modern word. People hear the word sacrifice, and they become afraid that something will be taken away from them or that they will have to give up something they couldn't live without. Sacrifice, to them, means loss in a world telling us we could have it all. But I believe true sacrifice is a victory. That's because it requires free will to give up something for someone you love, or something or someone you love more than yourself. I won't lie to you. It's a gamble. Sacrifice wont take away pain and loss, but it wins the battle against bitterness, the bitterness that dims the light on all of the true value in our lives."

I’ve been thinking, I’ve been wondering all this time, whether there’s any meaning to a FAILED LOVE,

Is something that will disappear as the same as something that never existed…NO!!! now I know, there is a meaning, there was a meaning……… Im so glad that I fell in love with you F……i really do!!!

    

You saw me how I wanted to be seen. That how love feels like.

To someone I would say I love the most, but have to sacrifice my feeling for the sake of their happiness.